There’s an old Chinese proverb which says ‘Good things come to those that wait’ or was the slogan on a Guiness advert ?
Anyway, after a month of inactivity, I thought it was time to name and shame those amongst you who have made a valiant attempt to ride something that was totally out of your league. (And I’m not referring to Craig and his new girlfriend ;D )
After a quiet month I am suddenly inundated with entries from a Forum Ride of all things. For the uninitiated amongst you, Forum Rides are the monthly social rides that take place in different locations each month. They are of a slow pace, with plenty of stops and (usually) nice gentle terrain which should hopefully introduce members to different areas that they would not normally ride.
So, you can understand my surprise that, after sifting through the pictures, I have unearthed a number of worthy contenders that will give the current favourites a run for their money
Today’s entries range from the virgin Forum Ride member, to someone who is certainly not a virgin
Forum Ride member.
My only regret is that for this month, we do not have an entry from the Jedi Master himself, Obiwan Kenobi, or Ken as most mere mortals know him
In fact, Ken’s appearance was so regular every month that I thought he’d swapped his mountain bike for menstrual cycle
It is with great pleasure that I also welcome at long last, the
ladies female members of the forum to this thread. I am particularly pleased to see the inclusion of my better half, Redkite to this section
Someone, who over the last several months, has ridiculed me over the amount of times I have had to make an impromptu dismount. As I stated at the very beginning, ‘Good things come to those that wait’
Also, for one month only, to celebrate the World Cup, I thought we’d add an international flavour to today’s proceedings.
So without further ado, representing Scotland, we have Hamish McDavid McDonnelly (or Davydonn as he is more affectionately known). Here he is demonstrating his ability to stop both a Welshman and Englishman getting past him. Had this technique been adopted by one of his country’s defenders, then they may have made the trip to South Africa, instead of sitting at home with cans of Tennant’s Export in front of their black and white TV’s ;D
Next we have Voodoopiles. Although not technically a fall, credit must be given where it is due. Andy is showing his many years experience of growing up in Manchester, as he has made a mental note of where Davydonn came off and is now searching for any money that may have fallen out of his pocket
Representing Wales we have our Virgin Forum member. Unfortunately I have no name for him, but some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves, others claim he can swim seven lengths underwater, and he has webbed buttocks... All we know is he turned up with Jor4s.
This fall has all the traits of world cup footballer. No-one actually saw the incident, but he more than makes amends for it by rolling around on the floor until the nearest person to him is blamed for causing it and is sent home, banned from the next Forum Ride and sent to the naughty step. In fact the tumble was so impressive that Beth Tweddle has been in contact with him asking if he can choreograph her next routine
Noticing the attention lavished upon the previous contestant, Damon is determined not to be outdone and tries to reclaim the centre of attention
However, in true English style, and reminiscent of his country’s football tactics, Damon has no originality or inventiveness and therefore is reduced to imitating the style that has gone before him
A tactic that may well result in a loss of points from the voting public. Unfortunately, due to his recent weight loss, Damon has lost the ability to roll and as such, lands with both feet firmly in the air providing a free bike parking facility for the next person's bike.
Note how our mystery guest manages to disguise his true identity by hiding behind the branch while walking to retrieve his bikeOur next participant is the first female to be enrolled into the hall of fame. She is the epitome of the saying ‘You can take the girl out of Liverpool, but you can’t take Liverpool out of the girl’
In true scouse fashion, Redkite having seen Ken with a camera is soon hatching a plan to steal it from under his nose. Her preferred method of operation is the age old favourite of ‘smash and grab’. Luckily, Obiwan Kenobi has not lost his Jedi instinct, and with speed and agility that defies his true age, (he’s over 300 years old you know
), he manages deploy his invisible force field which Sandra ploughs into, therefore knocking her off her bike.
To assist the intergalactic authoroties with their enquiries, Ken managed to get a picture of the culprit that even Crimewatch would be proud of
Our second and final female member has conjured up a magical display that even Paul Daniels would have been proud of. She is none other than Aunt Sally. Although not as old as Obiwan Kenobi, Aunt Sally can still teach these young pretenders a thing or two. In our next picture she is demonstrating to the younger riders the best way of attracting the attention of the opposite sex. By using the same technique that is taught to dancers who are employed by a certain Peter Stringfellow, Sally is demonstrating the floor dance that has proved a success in years gone by. A courtship display so successful it is believed to be the inspiration to the world famous mating dance of the bird of paradise. Unfortunately, Anna, new to the game of flirting with the male riders has positioned her bike in such a way that none of the intended
victims recipients going past at high speed would be able to see this masterly courtship display
To be continued……………
In fact, Ken’s appearance was so regular every month that I thought he’d swapped his mountain bike for menstrual cycle 
A tactic that may well result in a loss of points from the voting public. Unfortunately, due to his recent weight loss, Damon has lost the ability to roll and as such, lands with both feet firmly in the air providing a free bike parking facility for the next person's bike.
